Why, God?

Two weeks ago, the whole family went with me to get a congenital anomaly scan. This is an ultrasound wherein the doctor takes a look at all of the baby’s vital organs to check for any problems. It is about forty-five minutes to one hour long. We were so excited to finally learn that the baby is a boy. I was so happy to see the baby moving around inside my womb that I totally disregarded what the sonologist said about my placenta – that it was positioned at the edge of my cervix.

I was suppose to see my doctor during that week but, for some reason, was unable to. Last Sunday after church, I went to shop for groceries while waiting for Artsy Princess to finish her Youth Group Bible Study. Throughout my pregnancy, I avoided using the stairs because I easily became short of breath. That Sunday, I had to go up and down the stairs several times to get to the church. After two hours of grocery shopping, I was totally beat. Still, I had to stand around and wait for my daughter to finish with her church activities. 

When I used the toilet, I was shocked to see that I was spotting. I immediately sent a text to my doctor and was adviced that I should go see her at the clinic on Tuesday. On Monday, I still saw some spots of blood on my underwear. My doctor told me to rest and prescribed medication to help relax the uterus. As evening came and I saw a little bit more blood, I became very worried and decided to just go to the hospital.

At the hospital, they strapped a fetal monitor around my belly to see if I’m contracting. I had no contractions so I was told to go home, rest in bed and take medication. By Tuesday morning, I had terrible back pains which suspiciously felt like labor pains. Aside from this, Artsy Princess and Sunshine Princess are also scheduled to see their doctor for cough and colds. The three of us went to the hospital for our check up. Artsy and Sunshine were prescribed antibiotics. My doctor said I had placenta marginalis and adviced a 24-hour confinement to try to control the spotting and relieve the back pains.

My second day in the hospital was quite scary because I had several contractions throughout the day. In the evening, the spotting, which was previously dark brown, became bright red. Bright red blood is fresh blood which may signify that my cervix was opening. This really scared me.

But the morning of that second day, I was reading my Bible and pondering on God’s message. I realized that for the first time, I wasn’t asking God “Why?” In the previous years, whenever something bad was happening to me and my family, I always cried out to God and asked “Why is this happening, God?” I was acting as if I was entitled to a better situation and not deserving of any problem in my life. That day, when I was having contractions and bleeding, I was surprised to find that my attitude was not to question God. Instead, I had acceptance that this was a part of my life and may, in fact, be God’s will for me. Sure, I was anxious but I had the Holy Spirit assuring me that God is with me.

I remember the story of Job in the Bible. For those who don’t know, Job is the true Bible story of a man who was very rich, had a happy family and was devoted to the Lord. Satan went to see God in Heaven and challenged Him that Job only worshipped Him because He gave him everything. Satan asked God’s permission to wreak havoc in Job’s life and God agreed. The only condition was that Job should be spared his life.

Satan did everything to destroy Job. He killed all his children, destroyed his business and gave him leprosy – a skin disease that made him unacceptable in society. Job’s friends came to visit to console him. Instead of comforting and encouraging him, they mocked him about his faith in God. Job’s wife also told him to curse God. Throughout it all, Job’s faith in God was steadfast. One of the things that Job says to signify his faith in God is found in Job 1:21,

“The Lord gives, the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!”

In the end, the Lord gave back to Job all that he had lost and even more. Job continued to be faithful to God.

I always remember Job’s story whenever I go through some challenge in life. It is the Lord who gives everything to us, including our very lives. It is also the Lord who will take everything away from us, including our lives. God is simply being God when He gives us good along with the bad. Our role is to keep on trusting in Him, never losing our faith. Do you know what happens if we persevere through life’s trials? We become the Lord’s trophies and He holds us up on high for everyone to see! We are His witnesses of His faithfulness, of His grace and mercy. Blessed be the name of the Lord!