Zac – April 22, 2012 – June 19, 2012

Last April 22, our son Zachary Daniel was born premature by 30 weeks. I shared that with you here. Since giving birth, I have not written much because I became very focused on just caring for my baby who needed much care. Online casino Ireland. ###

Last June 19, 2012, our precious son went to his heavenly home with our Father in Heaven.

We were able to care for him a little over eight weeks, then he became very sick with sepsis. He struggled for his life in the pediatric ICU for 5 days. So many, many people and churches in many nations struggled and prayed for our little boy. On that last day, we faced the Sovereignty of the Lord – He is not only the Giver of life, but also the Taker of life.

To be truthful, I did not want to write about this part of our life. In fact, I did not want to write at all… because writing will make me face my thoughts… but I decided to write this today or else I may not be able to write anything anymore.

My heart grieves everyday for the loss of our son. Daily, I give myself time to cry it out. I have had and still have so many questions for this loss. Some questions, I found answers to. Some, I probably never will have any answer. But as I and my family grieve daily, I also know this truth: we can grieve because we still have life. And if we have this life, then we have God’s amazing mercy and grace, and then we can keep on hoping. I’d like to share with you my status on Facebook last July 11:

I often ask God, since Zac died, “Lord, why have you given me and my family this sorrow?” I found my answer here:

” I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” 16:33 NLT

I realized after reading this, the Lord’s answer must be “Why not?” But how good the Lord is! He has prepared us for these sorrows and we have the assurance that God has already overcome this world!

I am greatly touched by a friends response:

Judy Steidl The Lord teaches us how to bear sorrow like we also bear joy. It isn’t easy, but being “Zak’s mom” is an honor that He wanted you to have forever. That kind of love and sacrifice, gain and loss is something that Jesus also knew. In this way, Zak fulfilled such an incredible and powerful truth….and he was able to do so because he was loved so much by you all. Amazing grace.

The prayers of everyone, the encouragement and the presence, the financial help has left our family in awe of God’s great work in us! Thank you to all of you who continue to pray and encourage our family.

You brought us so much joy! 
Your short and sweet life is not in vain. 
 You will be missed. 
 We’ll see you in Heaven baby.



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  1. My name is Tiffany

    So sorry to hear of your loss. But I want to encourage you that your testimony happened to you so that you may in turn help someone else who has experienced a similar loss. I believe this with all my heart.

  2. Anonymous

    So, so sorry to read of your loss. My thought, as I read your story, was what a special place of honor you nust have within God’s kingdom. Yes, how grieves are your sorrows and deep is your pain. But in the midst of this what seems to surface is the fact that God had chosen you to care for one of his children. If only for a short time. That short time turned to grief will someday turn to an eternity of joy. Keep looking to that time when the one you greeted in birth on this earth will himself greet you in the heavens. Mike P.

  3. Diane Lockman

    You are so strong, and your testimony to the LORD’s goodness will impact so many others who suffer. You know my story…we lost our son as an infant, too, and honestly, I don’t think I smiled for 6 months because my heart was so heavy and my arms felt so empty. But God…but God…but God was there all along comforting me and reminding me of His absolute, perfect love. One night He reminded me that my babies were HIS before they were mine, and He would take care of them even when I wasn’t around. He is taking care of Zac even now, and you will continue to rest in this incredible peace. And thank you for being truly authentic in how you feel. Your words of wisdom, experience, and hope will comfort many other hurting women. Love you!

  4. Michelle

    My Name is Tiffany:
    As much as I don’t want to accept this biblical truth – that we are given trials so that we can also comfort those that need it – I have to acknowledge it because this is the truth. Thank you for your words of comfort.

  5. Michelle

    Mike P.

    Thank you very much for your words of comfort. You are the only one who said this to me and it’s really very comforting – that our son, my children’s brother, will greet us in heaven one day.

    God bless you!

  6. Michelle


    So many people have said that to me – that I am strong. I honestly feel surprised that people would tell me this. For me, it is only by the grace of God that I can still stand. It is not my strength buy His.

    Thank you for sharing your story with me. Sometimes, I get to thinking that I’m the only one who suffered this way, till I realize that this kind of sorrow did not only happen to me. It happened to you and countless other women as well. I am also comforted by the same thing that comforts you – that my children are HIS before they were even mine. And, no amount of my love for them would ever equal the love of God for each of them.

    Thank you for your comfort.

  7. Berry Patch

    I am so very sorry for your loss. Words are pretty inadequate at times like this. Please know I have been and will continue to be praying for you and your family. Praying for God’s peace and love to surround you and yours as you go through this difficult journey.
    Lisa B. (from the TOS Crew)


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